Behind the angst-ridden mask of musician-producer Elizabeth Bernholz
12 Feb 2015
Elizabeth Bernholz, aka Gazelle Twin, is a Brighton musician making ink-black, intoxicating experimental pop. Her droning, bleeping, pitch-shifting electronic tracks are nightmarish, unsettling takes on everything from mental health issues, societal angst and body horror. She was The Quietus’s 2014 Album of the Year winner, and recently made music for the London Short Film Festival. Claire Sawers got a brief peek behind the mask…
As someone who’s been racked with anxieties, self-loathing and neuroses since childhood, how did you deal with the praise piled on you, particularly for your last album, Unflesh?
That’s the first time anyone has asked me that and it’s a great question. I’m not very good at taking praise normally, especially in person. It sometimes makes me want to cry, or feel sick and want to hide. It’s not that I am ungrateful – quite the opposite.
It’s an odd thing. I guess in this sense, being praised for making work about various traumas is also a very uncomfortable thing if I think about it too much. I try to focus on the fact that it’s maybe just my ability to communicate and construct something out of an experience, rather than the experience itself. Good press is like a drug though. I try to distance myself from it as much as I can as it’s easy to become addicted to that rush of reading good press, or receiving praise, and then the drop is a long one whenever the criticism is negative, or things just peter out and no one talks about it anymore. I’ve been incredibly lucky with this record that people are still interested!
What three things might people find surprising about you?
Behind closed doors I am pretty juvenile when I’m not totally stressed out from work or other things. I love watching comedies and getting far too addicted to TV dramas. People might also be surprised that I am quite shy, self-deprecating and easily embarrassed… that is, if they have seen me onstage lunging or barking at them.
Your videos and music seem to reflect deep-rooted, societal angst. Are we all fucked?
Hmm, yeah I think we are really. I can’t lie. It’s just a gradual demise from now I think, until total collapse. Until we start all over again, if we are that lucky.
What role can music play in making things less fucked?
I think it’s important that people have a way to purge their frustrations, anger, experience, no matter how personal or how political. The more that leftfield music is heard in the mainstream, the more creativity might be inspired, the more free-thinking might be adopted by younger generations. I don’t know, that’s a utopia of course, but young people need that. The world needs that. It probably can’t help war, famine, disease or natural disasters though sadly. Sorry Bob Geldof.
Is life getting more or less terrifying for you?
People terrify me. The idea of having children, which will be my next big event in life, terrifies me. But healthy fear is a pretty good motivator most of the time.
Who or what makes you laugh?
French and Saunders. Arrested Development. Mulligan and O’Hare.
What’s your idea of hell?
Probably too dark for your readers, so I’ll go with something less graphic like being stranded at sea with my legs underwater.
What are you working on now/ next?
I have been working on a few side-projects and other music work, but have made a start on album three. It’ll take me a lot of work to get some of the ideas I have into shape. But I am excited to start something new.